Metamorphosis Alpha: In Search of Adventure

Personal Log JEB02: Whoopin' Stick Blues

Personal Log of Jebediah (Jeb)

The Ancients sure were a funny bunch. Turns out they lived in caves underground, all done up with glowing ceilings and cement ponds. Ol’ Jim is in hog heaven, but I ain’t too impressed. I got ahold of one of the Ancients‘s whoopin’ sticks thinking it’d even give Pa-Paw‘s hickory switch a run for its money. Turned out to be the most sissified whoopin’ stick I ever saw. The Ancients must have been a sorry bunch if that sent ’em scattering.

About the only thing worth a damn down there was our new friend, Hayseed. He’s a fella made of metal. At first, I figured he had metal clothes on, but nope, he’s metal straight through. He’s even got metal brains, which is probably why he’s kinda dumb. I imagine his brains overheat pretty easy. Still, he’s good people.

Hayseed‘s got a brother too, Medicaldroid. Medicaldroid is made of metal too. He’s also got four arms, like that Guardian Pines down in Habitat. But Medicaldroid ain’t a deputy; he’s a doctor. Matter of fact, first time I met him, he pulled out some ancient doo-hickey and cut all them ears and noses off of me! I still feel a little sickly, but Medicaldroid says I ain’t got the glow-sickness anymore.

I tell you what, them metal boys are first rate. When we get done fixing up the weather, I’m gonna take them out to the farm and have us a whoopp-it-up-tear-it-down kinda night. I know they’ll love Pa-paw’s liquor, since he adds a lot of lead to it.

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